


Found and Lost

by JJBashir



Category: Sleepy Hollow (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Post-Episode: s03e08 Novus Ordo Seclorum, Resolved Sexual Tension, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5321546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJBashir/pseuds/JJBashir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>....wasn't that a kick in the head? He'd hated Abbie for years for 'taking' his father from him...and here he was, trying to take her place when there was nothing and no-one that really could. But for their sakes, he was trying. It was all he could do.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Found and Lost

**Author's Note:**

> follows [Giving Up](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5229752), dedicated for those of you who wanted 'The Talk'. Enjoy.

Joe was groggy and sore when he fully came to in the chamber. Crane, he couldn't find him. He coughed as he sat up, trying to get his wits back and clear his lungs of dust. The last thing he remembered was being choked out by the strange _The Mummy_ reject, the next the entire place was coming down around his ears.

"Master Corbin. Jospeh. _Joe._ "

Joe nodded his head. "Yeah Crane, I'm OK." He looked up to see Jenny cradled in Crane's arms and a look of inexplicable sorrow in his eyes. He stood on shaky legs, reached out to take her from him.

"No. It is--all right," Crane said in his stilted voice as he held Jenny close, like a precious artifact.

Joe looked around at the damage and the carnage. "What happened?"

Crane sighed. "They are--gone. The Leftenant was able to remove the shard from Miss Jenny."

There was something about the way he said it that didn't sit well with Joe. "Crane...where's Abbie?" When he didn't answer, he finally pressed. "Crane? _Where's Abbie?_ "

"L-lost." Joe's heart lurched at the broken tone of that one word. "C-come. We must attends to Miss Jenny." 

 

**_Two weeks later_ **

They'd all ended up in Abbie's small house. It was easier for Joe to keep an eye on Jenny and Crane there, they needed to keep the appearance of the house being occupied and--it was less painful than the cabin, where so many other memories lingered for all of them. Regardless, Crane spent most of his time in the archives. Joe checked in on him, looking at him pouring over all kinds of books, trying to find a way to open the damned tree Abbie had walked into with the power of The Shard in her hands. Joe didn't want to say the words. He knew how it felt, to be the only one left. He brought Crane food, clapped his shoulder and left him to his research until Joe was done with his EMT shifts and would swing back to cajole him into coming home. He'd talk when he was ready. Or Joe would put him in a headlock and make him talk. Or eat. Or both.

Jenny--well, Jenny was a different story.

He'd been willing to do the stupidest of stupid to get her back, to stop feeling so helpless and it felt exceedingly wrong to be so happy she was alive and know what Abbie had done to keep her that way. But at the same time, he _was_ exceedingly happy she was alive and mostly OK. 

How OK could someone be knowing the only blood family they had who gave a damn had sacrificed themselves to keep you safe?

Joe warred with himself over the right thing to do. He relieved the scant moments they'd had in the Masonic Cell when the Shard had taken her over and over. There were times where he couldn't stop the memories from flittering around in his head and Crane or Jenny would find him in mid-step, cheeks burning red. Before everything happened, Jenny might have busted his balls for it. Now, she gave him a smile--soft, sad--and cupped his cheek in her hand as she walked past.

It didn't help that he was sleeping with her.

It wasn't sex. The first few nights, they were too sore, too injured, recovering from the battle to even contemplate the idea of any sort of physical connection. Joe remembered trying to live through the nebulous nightmares of being the Wendigo (GOD, he had to be in love if he was willing to put himself through _that_ fresh hell again). He'd walked past the room she'd chosen to camp out in and he heard that tell-tale snuffling noise--tears being muffled. He he didn't ask the rote 'are you OK?', he didn't even wait for a reply or a command to 'leave me alone'. He simply crawled into bed with her, wrapping her up in his arms from behind. He didn't say anything. He held her until she turned in his arms and sobbed into his shoulder. He rocked her gently, whispered nonsense words of what he hoped was comfort until she fell into a fitful sleep.

It had been that way for another few days, until the night she crawled onto the couch he'd taken as his own bed, murmuring how she couldn't sleep unless he was there. Since then, he'd moved into 'her' room and they'd slept together, him giving her what comfort he could--the comfort from him she was able to accept. he was sure Crane didn't approve one bit and he often found himself the recipient of the 'Patented Crane Stink-Eye of Doom' in the mornings.

It didn't make his own feelings for her less conflicted. He still ached for her. He still had that strong, heady desire for her he'd had before their little foursome had been broken into three. But he also knew there was a time and a place and this wasn't it. But feeling her soft hair tickling his bicep as they lay in bed quietly? He lived for it. He lived for her nose nestled against his neck in her sleep. He lived for the first time she quietly asked him if he was coming to bed as he was trying to listen to Crane teach him how to read the crazy books he brought back from the archive. But aside of comforting, mostly chaste touches--he didn't push the issue they'd left hanging between them before the power of the Shard had driven her out of the safety of the Archive and into the wild.

It gave him the time to really think all of this through. One would have thought that he would have figured out already how short life was, how important it was to tell the people you loved that you loved them but he was a Corbin, as stubborn and hardheaded as his father in keeping things to himself. Two tours in Afghanistan, the bitterness he felt towards Abbie because of the attention paid to her by his dad, Jenny's closeness to him, now this. He couldn't waste more time. He shouldn't. But yet he was willing not to push her further than she was willing to go. It didn't stop him from whispering the words to her when he was certain she was deep in sleep that he wasn't sure she was ready to hear, but at least they brought him some sort of small comfort. He needed that to keep going day after day for the two of them, for Crane and for Jenny.

It's what Abbie would have done. Probably did do. But Abbie wasn't here, so he was trying to do the best he could in her place. Which, wasn't that a kick in the head? He'd hated Abbie for years for 'taking' his father from him...and here he was, trying to take her place when there was nothing and no-one that really could. But for their sakes, he was trying. It was all he could do.

 

 

Joe had just come out of the shower and was scrubbing his hair dry with a towel when she came into their shared room and shut the door. "Shit, Jen, scare a guy why don't ya?" he said, jumping slightly and trying to tighten the towel around his waist.

"I'm sorry I just--I need to talk to you." She sat on the bed, back facing him. "If I didn't just come in, I'd chicken out...again."

He moved to sit next to her. "I'm here," he said, state of undress forgotten at the moment. "You can talk to me about anything. You know that."

There was a long pause before she asked, "Even--?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. He didn't need her to finish the question. "Even that."

"It hurts you know," she said. "I--I couldn't stop her. I was passed out, all worn from that damned stupid shard and I couldn't even tell her to stop, ask her what the hell she was doing..."

Joe shrugged. "She was doing what Abbie always does--took the situation in her own hands to bring it to the best end she could see." He smiled a little bit. "Abbie's a total quarterback--she always wants the ball in her hands with the game on the line. Always. Little bit of a control freak, your sister."

"You talk like she's coming back." Jenny's head was still bowed. 

Joe shrugged again. "One of us needs to hold on to it," he said. "After everything I've seen--hell, it wouldn't surprise me in the least. Abbie's strong, the strongest of us all. Crane--he said the last thing she said to him was for us to take care of each other. I might have been getting choked out by fake Imhotep up in the other room--but I'd kind of like to think she meant to include me in that 'each other'. So that's what I'm trying to do."

He took Jenny's hand in his own. "I'm _in_ , Mills. I'm in for the long haul and all those other terrible cliches that you say at a time like this," he explained. "I meant when I said I started with wanting to get closer to the man my father was and that's not who I ended up getting closer to. Being closer to." He was studying her hand, how each phalange was perfectly balanced and proportioned, the slight flattening of her knuckles, the sign of a fighter, of someone who didn't need him to protect her even though every part of him wanted to do just that. Refined hands. Strong hands. He rubbed his thumb along that telltale callous, one he had on his right hand as well, where a firearm's trigger had rubbed the skin and left its mark.

"Part of me thinks you don't need me," he continued. "You don't need me but I sure as hell need you. And I will be whatever it is you need me to be right now. Even if that's only as your blankie to make the nightmare go away long enough to sleep. Because, I sure as hell know how that goes. That's not gonna change anytime soon. If ever." He was going to say something else, but then he shrugged. "That's it," he said. "If it's too much, I get it. But that's where I'm at." He moved to get up, the words almost too much for him to have said, feeling guilt for making it about him when it should have been about her. She stopped him by squeezing his hand.

"I don't know If I'm ready for this," she said and he shook his head.

"Jen you don't have to--"

"Jesus, Joe. Shut up," she snapped and even though it brought red to his face, it was so the Jenny he knew he had to smile. It was the first bit of fire she'd shown in a long time. He missed it.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this," she repeated. "But--I want it. I--I don't know what I would have done without you here. Keeping me steady, keeping me from flying off in seven different directions, because I know that if I do you'll follow me." As he'd done to her, she pulled his hand up into her lap, ran her fingertips along his fingers, his knuckles--rubbed that tell-tale callous on his right hand. "Crane told me--that you wanted to try and find a way to tap into the power of the wendigo. For me."

Joe groaned. "Damned Crane," he said.

"He was right," she said. "Don't do stupid things for me."

"I do stupid things because I love you and want to protect you, even though you don't need me for that. I know you can take care of yourself. It's just--automatic. You've hurt enough." He looked away because he didn't want to see the rejection of his words in her eyes. "I just--I'm gonna be whatever you need me to be right now, Jen. Even if it's just this." He knew his jaw was tight; he could feel it even as her hand turned his head to look at her. As always, to him her eyes were unreadable; he was sure it was a total contrast to his own.

"Don't ever say 'you don't need me'," she said. Jenny leaned over and Joe was almost too shocked to respond as she brushed her lips against his. "Don't ever tell me that I don't need you again. Because if there's anyone in this world besides Abbie that I need--it's you." It felt like the world was in slow motion as she swung one leg over and settled herself in his lap. She rested her forehead against his. "I want this," she said, drawing fingertips along his temple. "I want this--whatever it is. Butterflies in my stomach feeling when I look at you and that gnawing, hungry feeling when you stalk me in the ring and that 'oh my God how much more beautiful can he get' feeling when you look at me the way you're looking at me right now."

Joe blushed. He didn't know he had that kind of a look. He also blushed because he was sitting on the bed in nothing but a towel and the 'Mills Effect' was starting to take hold; as much as he wanted to be the stand up guy and understanding--her body did things to him especially when said body was right on top of his. "Jenny--" There wasn't much he could say after that with her lips on his again, her fingers skimming along his scalp and her legs tightening around his. Her hands, both of them, cupped the back of his neck exactly the way they had back in the archives when they first kissed and Joe didn't want time to move again.

"Joey---I need you," she whispered against his mouth. "You're all I've got left of safe in this world."

He kissed her, much like the very first time he did. Softly, gently, not asking for anything more than that simple contact. He let her deepen it, felt the tip of her tongue touch his bottom lip. His hands didn't move from her waist, even when she buried her fingers in his hair again. "I'm starting to think I should let it grow out again so you have something to mess with," he joked, rubbing his nose against hers.

"Don't. I kinda like it high and tight," she joked back as she let her nails rake lightly along the nape of his neck. She laughed lightly when he trembled. "See?"

He smiled, a bigger one than he had of late. "Who would have guessed, Jenny Mills has a thing for private first class Marine cut number five?" His hands slid up, still staying over her oversized--he tilted his head. "Is that--my t-shirt?" he asked. "That I've been looking for the last two days?"

She didn't say anything, just gave him one of those little Mona Lisa smiles that always seemed to kick him in the gut. "You must not have been looking very hard," she said, pulling it off and dropping it between them. She was nude under it and Joe swallowed hard, struggling and failing to keep his eyes up like a good soldier. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and lowered her head to kiss his neck. "Do you really want it back?"

He chuckled. "Nah, you keep it. I'd hate to separate you from an old friend." He lifted her head and kissed her again, a little harder, more passionately. "Jen..."

"Make me feel, Joey," she whispered. She tossed the shirt away and plucked her fingers where the towel he wore was joined. "You're the only thing that makes me feel anything but sad and lost. I need to find myself again. Help me."

He'd had their first time--their proper first time--all planned out in his head. He'd have her over to the cabin. They'd have a couple of beers, crack a few jokes--he'd be exceedingly smooth, she'd mock him and they'd fall into bed to finally have sultry, sinfully sensual sex.

Now? He opened the towel he wore then leaned back, letting her lay on him. His hands slid down her bare back then up again. "Yes, ma'am," were the only words he uttered as he kissed her. Like all the nights they had spent in this bed, the tones were hushed and quiet. She'd felt his touch before, a gentle swipe of fingertips against a cloth covered hip but skin to skin it was far more electric. He touched every part of her he could reach as they moved to laying on their sides. Jenny spent as much time exploring his body as he did hers, which lead to some light teasing when she noted how hard he swallowed and shivered when her hand barely brushed the base of his erection. "Little Joey Corbin, all grown up," she'd said as he moved her onto her back.

"I hate being called 'Joey'," he mentioned. "But for you, I'll make an exception."

After that, there wasn't very much talking going on from either of them...save the occasional gasp of their names. He moved slowly, cradling her in his arms as she pushed up against him. It was the exact opposite of what had happened between them before--the slow and steady buildup instead of hurried and rushed because neither of them knew if they'd ever have the chance again. Now he could take his time, memorize every inch of her body. When she coaxed him onto his back, he studied her, cataloging all the new favorite places he now had to think about--like where her waist met her hips or the soft swell of the underside of her breasts.

He hissed as her nails scraping down his back, murmuring that she was making him crazy and he was trying to stay steady for her--so of course, she had to do it again, sharper so he'd really feel it and his head dropped to her shoulder. "Gonna--Jen, CHRIST," he gasped out.

"Good," she said, squeezing him tighter as she did it one more time. "Wanna feel you Joey--lose control. I need--please--"

And that 'click' that he heard in his mind--in his heart--from their first, hurried coupling in the Archives came back tenfold. That 'oh dear God I'm never going to have this woman again and I have once chance ONE CHANCE to show her what I feel because I'm just a dumb jarhead and I can't use words because they don't work so this, Jenny, this is how I feel.' He had wanted to find a way to tap into the fearsome power of the Wendigo to try and save her when Crane had been right all along. All the power he needed were in his own heart, his arms, his hips, his mouth. He could feel that first fluttering and he grit his teeth, determined to hold on just long enough to see her completion and it was damned hard to, because what followed was hot and tight and gripping and intoxicating and he grimaced in pain because he reached down to squeeze the base of his cock hard to try and hold himself off.

Joe wanted to see the aftermath, something he'd missed the last time. Of her chest rising and falling hard, the soft sheen of sweat on her brow and along her neck. The slightly blown out look in her eyes and the soft gasps of air she took in to catch her breath. He licked along her jawline, tasting her salty skin before slowly starting to move again, this time not caring because if he'd thought he was desperate for release any other time in his life, it was nothing compared to the desperation he felt now. He didn't hold back. He couldn't hold back and he'd tired but she felt too good, they felt too good together, her whispers in his ear about how good he felt, how it was good, how she wanted more--he felt himself let go like he'd been punched in the back and he sobbed in relief and release. He couldn't stop kissing her, not really certain of what he was trying to do except get that much closer to her if it was at all possible. "Jen--"

"I know," she said, kissing his sweat forehead.

"Of course you're Han," he managed to joke before carefully lowering himself to lay down, half-draped on her and his head resting on her shoulder.

"I shot first too," she joked.

Joe groaned. "You're just going to make me feel like a cornball for telling you 'I love you'," he complained.

She laughed lightly. "Just this once, Corbin. The rest of the time--I'm going to hold on it it for dear life."

He was sure the smile on his face was goofy and he really didn't care. "I'll take it," he said, closing his eyes and wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Thank you."

He lifted up his head. "For what? Never mind, don't answer that." He settled his head back down, stroking her hip slightly as he drifted off.

 

He was happy to be working day shifts this week. The news that Abbie Mills was missing wasn't getting around town much, but there wasn't any secret about the fact that Joe Corbin and Jenny Mills were 'something'. Crane, in typical Crane fashion, had seen fit to give Joe three levels of the tenth degree over his 'indentions towards Miss Jenny', acting the role of the indignant older brother to a tee. Joe called him out about never telling Abbie how he actually felt about her and that as soon as they managed to track her down and rescue her from the mouth of the Tree of Hell--Crane was doing just that. Then he fragged the hell out of him in Zombie War Apocalypse, just because he could and because listening to Crane bitch about being shown up by a runty bull of a private first class was capital rubbish warmed Joe's heart.

It also got Joe out of making breakfast for the week and even though he made the best omelets in the house, nothing beat Crane's flapjacks and perfect bacon making skills. It also gave him an extra hour in bed with Jenny which wasn't always spent sleeping.

"You are far too chipper this morning to have been doing anything innocent, Master Corbin," Crane said with a fair amount of snip as Joe bounded into the kitchen, stealing a slice of bacon off the pile. 

"Jealousy? Not a good look on you, Captain." Joe poured the coffee, pushed Crane one and dumped sugar and cream in his own. 

"...is Miss Jenny well?" Crane asked in a low voice. 

Joe was going to answer with a high level of snark but instead answered more sincerely. "She's---better," he said. "She'd be great if she wasn't only worrying about how to find and get her sister back." This time the look was pointed. "Considering _somebody_ told her how I was trying to tap into things I shouldn't, that same _somebody_ should remember what he told me and not do stupid shit and make sure his soul is intact for when we get Abs back home."

Crane was silent, doing that _thing_ he did: grit his teeth, stand up at perfect attention like some O-2 who's just been told his bar was spotty.

Joe was about to launch into a speech when he heard feet against the floor and both men turned their head to see Jenny standing in the entryway of the kitchen, one of Joe's flannel shirts draped on her like a makeshift robe. "I thought I smelled flapjacks," she said, padding her way into the kitchen and stealing Joe's mug of coffee from him.

"Capt'n lost a bet," Joe said. "He's on KP in the AM this week." He got up and poured himself another cup of coffee. "I know you want an omelet anyway..."

"Nah, Ichy's flapjacks are love," she joked and went over to the stove and patted the tall man on his shoulder. Joe smiled to see the faint blush on Crane's face and the stammering from him. Then Jenny sat down on his lap as soon as Joe got himself more coffee and settled in for breakfast. "Don't be so surprised," she said, kissing his neck then laughing as Crane's eyebrows launched off his face.

Joe shifted in his chair just to make it a little more comfortable for her. "Who me? I kinda like this." One arm around Jenny, mug of coffee in hand and a pile of flapjacks and bacon to start the day. They talked about what Crane would study that day, that Joe would be back in time to drive Jenny to her shift at the bar, Jenny would appreciate company at the bar after nine. The kinds of things a family would talk about at the start of a day. There was only one thing missing...and that alone was enough to make the whole scene bittersweet. As Crane settled himself and the plate of bacon on the table, Joe knew he'd been wrong in trying to replace Abbie. He couldn't be her. But...he could try to make sure the three of them stayed the family she wanted them to be. Until they got her back. She'd never given up on him...like his dad never gave up on him. 

 

It was his turn now.


End file.
